What to Do With a New Friend the First Time You Hang Out

Quick answer: Don’t plan too much for the first hangout. Get a coffee, wander round a market or gallery, browse a bookshop, or pick something small you can do nearby. You don’t need to plan half a day together.

And no, a first friend date isn’t really a date. It just feels a bit like one when you barely know each other yet. But it can still feel weird.

You have met someone you might want to be friends with. Maybe through an app, work, a class, a run club, a group chat or a friend of a friend. Now comes the awkward adult bit: meeting again on purpose.

The mistake is making the first hangout too big. You do not need a whole dinner, a four-hour plan or a deep conversation about everyone’s childhood by minute twelve. You need one small thing to do together and enough space to see if it feels easy.

That is the Bfriendz idea too: less vague chatting, more real plans. Not “we should hang out sometime” until everyone disappears. One plan. One meet-up. Then see if it naturally becomes a second one.

If you already know who you want to ask but you’re stuck on the message, start with how to ask a new friend to hang out. If you’ve already made the plan, pick whatever fits below.

First, what kind of friend date is this?

When you’ve only just met someone, an hour is plenty. If sitting across a table making conversation sounds painful, do something where you can walk around or keep busy.

Daytime usually feels less date-y, and bringing other people along solves that problem completely. Bad weather just means picking somewhere indoors. If you want to hang out again, say so. Just suggest something.

And if everyone’s broke, just do something free. If the chat is already easy, choose something more playful.

If you barely know them

1. Coffee and a short walk

This is the safest first friend date for a reason. It is public, cheap and easy to end after 45 minutes.

Do not make the walk heroic. You are not testing whether this person can emotionally survive a six-mile canal route. Get coffee, walk a little, stop before it becomes a quest.

Text it like this:

“Want to grab coffee and have a little wander this weekend?”

2. A food market lap

A food market gives the hangout movement. You can walk around, choose one snack each, judge the expensive brownies and leave before it becomes a full meal.

It is less intense than a restaurant because nobody is trapped across a table trying to perform friendship.

Best for: casual weekend plans.

3. One gallery room

Not the whole gallery. One room.

Pick a small exhibition or one section of a museum. Have opinions, ideally unserious ones. Then get coffee or leave while everyone still has a personality.

Best for: people who need something to talk about.

4. A bookshop browse

A bookshop makes a first friend hangout feel calm without becoming boring. Turn it into a small game:

One book you would actually read.
One book you would pretend to read on a train.
One book that looks completely unhinged.

Best for: quieter people and low-budget plans.

If you want it to feel clearly friendly, not romantic

5. A daytime walk

Daytime makes almost everything less date-coded. Choose a park, a canal, a market street or a busy neighbourhood route.

Keep it simple: one loop, one coffee stop, one easy exit.

6. Group coffee

If you don’t fancy meeting just the two of you, ask a couple of other people along. Not a giant group. Just enough to make it feel casual.

“Me and a couple of people are grabbing coffee Saturday if you want to join” is much easier than “would you like to build a friendship from scratch with me”.

7. A casual lunch

Lunch is underrated for new friends. It has a natural end point, it does not feel as loaded as dinner, and it works especially well for someone from work, class or a regular activity.

Best for: people you already know a little.

8. A local event

A small local event gives the hangout a reason to exist. Look for a free gig, market evening, open studio, book talk, quiz, pop-up or community thing.

You are not trying to find the event of the year. You just need one reason to meet.

For easy seasonal ideas, try last-minute summer plans to make with new friends.

If you are introverted

9. A museum section

A museum works well if you do not try to do the entire museum. Choose one section, then stop.

The point is to have something outside yourselves to react to. Objects are easier than eye contact sometimes.

10. Cinema plus coffee

A film alone is not really a friend date. A film plus coffee before or after is.

This works because the film gives the plan structure, and the coffee gives you time to actually talk.

11. A board game café

Board games help because you do not have to carry the conversation every second. Choose something easy, short and not emotionally damaging.

Avoid anything that needs a 40-minute explanation. This is a first hangout, not a court case.

12. A quiet class

A beginner pottery class, sketching session, language class, cooking workshop or photography walk can be perfect because the activity does some of the social work.

You can talk, but you are not forced to talk constantly.

Best for: people who relax when there is a task.

If it is raining

13. An indoor market

Indoor markets are useful because you can move around without committing to one place. Get one snack, look at a few stalls, leave if the energy is not there.

14. Arcade games

Arcade games are chaotic in a helpful way. Nobody has to be charming non-stop. Play badly, laugh, move on.

The only rule: no one is allowed to take losing at a 1990s game personally.

15. A gallery or free exhibition

Bad weather makes galleries an easy win. Pick one small thing to see, not a cultural marathon.

If you are in London, a lot of ideas in our guide to rainy-day first date ideas in London also work for new friends.

16. Coffee somewhere with people-watching

A rainy coffee plan is better when the café has a window, a busy street, a bookshop nearby or somewhere to walk after if the rain stops.

Coffee with no possible second step can feel like an interview. Coffee with a small route feels like a plan.

If you’re trying to keep it cheap

17. A park loop

Free, easy, public. Pick a park that has coffee nearby or a clear place to meet.

Do not choose somewhere too empty or too far away. “Low-cost” should not become “mildly unsettling”.

18. A free exhibition

Free exhibitions are good because they make the plan feel considered without making anyone spend money.

The trick is to keep it short. One exhibition, then done.

19. A charity shop challenge

Go to a charity shop or vintage market and give yourselves a tiny mission:

Best ugly mug.
Worst jacket.
Most cursed object.
Thing you would buy if you had to move house tomorrow.

It is cheap and much less awkward than sitting across from someone asking about siblings.

20. Walk to one specific thing

A vague walk can feel like pressure. A walk to something feels normal.

Walk to a bakery. Walk to a view. Walk to a bookshop. Walk to a market. Walk to the weird statue neither of you understands.

A destination gives the plan a shape.

If the chat is already easy

21. Mini golf

Mini golf is silly enough to stop the hangout feeling formal. It gives you movement, mild competition and a natural end point.

Best for: people who want something more active than coffee.

22. A low-stakes sport

Badminton, table tennis, climbing, padel, yoga, a social run, beginner dance, casual swimming — anything where being bad is allowed.

Do not invite a new friend to your intense personality bootcamp. Beginner-friendly is the key.

23. One drink, one snack, one walk

This is a good format when you are not sure what the plan should be.

One drink or soft drink.
One snack.
One short walk.
Then decide whether to continue.

It feels casual but not aimless.

24. “Show me your area”

If you live in different parts of the city, one person can choose three tiny stops: coffee, a shop, a park, a bakery, a market, a view, a strange local landmark.

It makes the hangout feel personal without becoming too deep too fast.

If you are trying to meet more people in London generally, read how to make friends in London as an adult.

If you want a second hangout to happen

25. The 45-minute first friend date

This might be the best plan of all: keep it short on purpose. Coffee before another plan.

One market lap. One exhibition room.

One walk. One snack.

One quick lunch.

A short first meet-up is not a failure. It makes the second one easier. The goal is not to prove you are best friends immediately. The goal is to leave thinking: “That was easy. I would do that again.”

Making a new friend is not about one perfect hangout. It is about making the next plan feel normal.

More easy friendship plans

If you know who you want to invite but not what to say, read how to ask a new friend to hang out.

If you need something easy this week, try last-minute summer plans to make with new friends.

And if coffee feels like the safest first move, a lot of our London coffee date spots work just as well for friend dates.